Books & Sex

Top Ten Reasons Books Are Better Than Sex

10. With books, it's socially acceptable to read both men and women.

9. A book never has to ask "Was it good for you?" --- And then lie and say it was.

8. You don't have to shower after reading a book, except maybe Ann Coulter.

7. The pope says you can have books before marriage.

6. You don't have to get a book drunk first.

5. Books last longer than three minutes.

4. If you don't like what you see between the covers, you can toss it aside and find another book right away.

3. With books, length isn't important.

2. A book can make you sick, but not the kind of sick that requires a trip to the clinic.

1. You can have a new book every night, and they don't get jealous.

THE TOP FIVE REASONS SEX IS BETTER THAN BOOKS

5. With sex, there's never a mystery as to who's doing what to whom.

4. Sex can be done in the back of a dark cab.

3. If you do it when you're drunk, it still makes perfect sense.

2. With books, if you can't read well, you're out of luck. With sex, there's a little pill.

1. With sex, you never have to flip back to remind yourself what the plot is about or what the goal of the protagonist is.